Hi folks! I found an old clipping in my files that I thought I would share with you this week. These are some crazy comments about a host of things, so enjoy!
Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving. Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried — but they wanted cash.
Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her, or she will take it anyway.
Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
You are getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job; he still ends up with the same boss.
Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you. It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged Marriage. It’s like asking someone if suicide is better than being murdered.
There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. It is no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep – not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt; short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.
The road to success is always under construction.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button.
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not going to come.
If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.
War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Don’t steal. The government hates competition.
The sole purpose of a child’s middle name is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.
We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Just some silly things to ponder to relieve the stress of COVID-19 and the world in general!
I must apologize to Kathy Turk who tried her hardest to get a couple of birthdays to me before the May 18 issue of the Times-Shopper was mailed to no avail.
First her dad, Eddie Murphy, celebrated his 100th birthday on May 23 and her hubby, Ron, had a birthday on May 19.
I hope both guys had great birthdays and hopefully when we get used to the new way of conducting business due to COVID-19, things will get easier for us all!
Birthdays for this week include May 27 – Steve Kick and Heidi Beachler; May 28 – Ronda Stoner; May 29 – Dionna Richert and Dan Kiner; May 30 – Ernie Motz (he’s celebrating his 96th) and Toni Wolford; May 31 – Valerie Leckrone and Doug Carnegie; June 1 – Susie VanHorn and Milt Spreng.
Many happy returns of the day!
Wedding anniversaries being celebrated are May 27 – Dave and Criss Hunter and Brian and Joey Keiser; May 31 – Jon and Angie Vermilya and Howdie and Debbie Burnett.
Finally – “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says, ‘I’m possible!'” – Audrey Hepburn